O Come Let Us Adore Him

It’s Christmastime again, and as the old song says, it’s the most wonderful time of the year.

But is it?

It’s wonderful to snuggle up by the fire with a mug of hot chocolate and reflect on our love relationship with the Almighty. The miracle that Jesus left his kingly splendor in heaven—to come to messy, imperfect earth and be born a tiny helpless human infant. In heaven he was the Almighty; on earth he was completely dependent on human parents to take care of him. He left a palace made of gold to be born in a filthy stable, surrounded by smelly farm animals. All this to live among us. All so we could touch the face of God and see how he navigated the joys and sorrows of life. Then, even more amazing, he laid down his life and died in our place, so we could live forever. It fills my heart with wonder and adoration, just to think of it. This is the time of year to focus on Jesus, to worship him for who he is, gentle, kind, loving, wise, brilliant, transcendent.

But at the same time, this time of year often is the very hardest to adore Jesus. We seem to be swept away by a mighty current that takes us where we do not want to go. We know we want to tarry in adoration, but we can’t seem to break free and do it. What is hindering our adoration, and how can we be free?

BUSYNESS

The first obstacle to our adoration is also the most obvious. We are all so busy. Most of our schedules are full to start with. Then we pile on special Christmas programs and parties, shopping, decorating, cards to send and read, and travelling to see friends and family. It’s really more than anyone can squeeze into the four weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

There is nothing wrong with Christmas traditions, but the breakneck pace can easily get out of hand. In years past, I would feel so driven and anxious, my chest so tight, that I could not be present in what I was doing. My body would be in the kitchen baking cinnamon bread with Sarah, while my mind frantically went over my list—what needed to be done next and how much more I could squeeze in before bed. I found myself racing through the current activity so I could check it off my list and rush on to the next. In the midst of the mayhem, I couldn’t focus on God at all. I struggled to hear him, and didn’t sense his presence—it seemed he was not there, though I knew that that was a big fat lie. God is always with us. Whether we know him or acknowledge him or feel him, he is still near.  

WOUNDS & TRAUMA

The second thing that can interfere with our worship is wounds and trauma. For many of us, Christmastime is loaded with painful memories. I remember one Christmas, when I was about four, lying under my grandmother’s dining room table crying until sobs became hiccups, while all the grownups sat around the table talking as if I had ceased to exist. I don’t remember why I was crying, but do remember the intense feeling that nobody cared that I was hurting.

I didn’t know a thing about God back then. No one had told me that there was a God who loved me and cared for me. It was not until I was ten and a friend invited me to Sunday school that the Gospel began to sink slowly into my brain. After a year of weekly lessons I prayed with my Sunday School teacher, telling God that I was sorry for all the wrong things I had done and asking him to forgive me. I prayed, Jesus I want to give you my life. Make me like you.

Like every Christian, I came to God and he welcomed me into his forever family. But that didn’t stop Christmas time from triggering painful memories like a grease fire. All my losses stepped forward as if on stage. I kept running to God to surrender my pain and feel his loving embrace. Sometime, it still hurts. Whenever it does, I sense God saying, Dear heart, don’t do this alone. Ask for help. You may have thought you had faced this one but there is more. More hurt, yes, but also more freedom.

In fact, I think there is often a link between first hindrance we talked about—that frantic sort of busyness—and the false narratives about God and ourselves that our traumas have taught us. We drive ourselves at Christmastime because we do not see ourselves as God’s beloved son or daughter. We do not see how kind and loving he is.

DISAPPOINTMENT

The third and final thing that often interferes with our adoration of Jesus is disappointment with God. I am not talking about past disappointments, but disappointment with how my life is shaping up today. How can you worship someone when you are feeling ticked at them?

When I was a kid, I was always disappointed with my Christmas presents. My folks didn’t have much money and I must have driven them nuts with my unrealistic hopes and dreams. I see now that it wasn’t the lack of gifts that made Christmas painful; it was the lack of love and connection. I didn’t feel loved, accepted or affirmed, and not receiving the gifts I wanted reinforced my belief that my parents didn’t really know me or care. But at times, I have found that that these past disappointments have led me to spend more money than I should on my own children’s Christmas presents. I don’t want them to be disappointed as I was. I want to make sure they feel loved. But going over my budget isn’t going to make my kids feel loved. Attuning to them, listening to them—that’s love. If they don’t feel loved, buying them more stuff won’t fix it.

I am deeply grateful for many things in my life—good health, my family, friends, home, and HCI. But I would be lying if I didn’t acknowledge the areas of my life where I am struggling. It is hard to watch my husband Sam weaken. Where is the healing you promised, Lord? God sometimes calls us into hard places, places of waiting that can be frustrating and discouraging. The Lord has brought Sam through so much. A bone marrow transplant. Pneumocystic pneumonia. Four years on oxygen. I am grateful that Sam is still cracking jokes and smiling, but taking care of everything is exhausting. When I go to Jesus he says, I have him, Beloved. I have you. I know what I am doing. Then he says, Pace yourself. Pray for Sam. Ask for my strength. I am waiting on the Lord, keeping company with Abraham awaiting the son God had promised. The children of Israel waiting for deliverance. Jesus waiting in the garden.

Probably your struggle is something different—maybe your kids or your friendships or your job or your health or your marriage or the fact that you never married. I know God is bringing us through seasons of joy and sorrow. In the years since 2016 when Sam was diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndrome, my relationship with God has deepened and my capacity to suffer well has grown. There is gold in the refining.

I believe that sometimes, under it all, what drives us this time of year is the belief that if we can find the perfect gift and cook the perfect food and make our home perfect, we will create that often elusive sense of love and belonging and connection that our souls crave. Just take a look at any home magazine at Christmas time. Create the perfect Christmas. Underneath it all is a longing for unconditional love.

Do you know why? I used to think that craving was bad. Betsy, you are so needy. You are off in lala land. Get a grip. But you know what? Unconditional love is what we were made for. We get into trouble when we look to humans to love us unconditionally. No human being will ever love you unconditionally. Our parents fail us, our friends fail us, our spouses fail us, and we let our kids down.

I remember when my first child was born, I was flooded with such intense love for her and a determination to protect her from pain—no matter what. I did not want her to go through what I went through. But I failed. I have watched myself fail. I have seen that, paradoxically, it is in the moments when my kids need me most that I have the hardest time meeting their needs. But not so with God. He is the only one who can love us unconditionally and he is the only one who can heal our hearts.

That was 58 years ago. I am still healing. In a recent encounter with Jesus, I saw a whole new crowd of child parts, parts that I knew formed in moments of overwhelm in my childhood. I was not amused. I complained to Jesus, After all the healing I’ve had, there is still more? His response was that these children were assets, not burdens. Parts of my heart that had a lot to offer. I looked closely and saw that they were all dancing to the song Rest by Brandon Lake while the Holy Spirit swirled among them. It changed my perspective. God also told me that he was not going anywhere and would be with me as I welcomed them one by one into the circle of love.

What about you? Are you frantically moving through the season while your true heart longs to sit like a little child on Jesus’ lap? Are you avoiding triggers that you know have long roots in childhood pain? Failing to face disappointments?

RETURN TO ADORATION

We can’t exactly ditch Christmas—can you imagine it? “Sorry kids, no Christmas this year, I’m feeling a need to step outside 21st century America and worship God.”

But what can we do?

I believe we can learn something from a humble 17th century monk, Brother Lawrence. He wrote this wonderful little book, Practicing the Presence of God, in 1663 in a monastery in France. In it, he describes practicing God’s presence in the everyday chores such as baking bread and writing cards and washing dishes. He calls it having “a habitual, silent, secret conversation of the soul with God.” He saw his times of devotion during his monastery's services just as extensions of the same worship he had already been offering God all day.

But how can we do this today, 359 years later? After all, he lived in a monastery, not in a house with my family—much less my rambunctious seven-month-old puppy.

We start by surrendering each day to Jesus. We can ask Jesus to help us recognize his presence as we navigate our daily business. We can turn off the radio and the TV and the Christmas music and just settle into the stillness. Listening to his heart for us. By creating pockets of silence, we create space to encounter the Almighty.

We can also explicitly invite Jesus to join us in what we are doing. Jesus, I’m headed to the mall, be with me. Help me to know that I am so much more than what I wear. Help me to find the right gift for sister-in-law. Help me to have your heart for her and not try to fix her. Giving her Facing Life’s Losses didn’t go over well last year. Show me what I can give her that will bless her. Show me where to go.

We can invite God to be with us all day long, to speak to us, to guide us. When impressions or thoughts pop into our minds, we can trust that it may indeed be God speaking. And test it out by following it through. I’ve prayed for the perfect gift, walked into the store and right up to the right present and thought to myself, This was way too easy. I think I’d better look around. But looking around only made me confused and I ended up standing in front of that very same first gift and putting it in my cart.

My advice to you—and to myself—is when the right present falls into your lap, go with it. If the right words pop into your mind when writing your annual Christmas letter, go with it. At first it is hard, like any new habit, but over time it builds a partnership with God. He loves to lead us into goodness!

No matter where you are on your spiritual journey—even if you aren’t sure you believe in God—you can still invite him to open your eyes to his presence and he will do it. Brother Lawrence urges us to give ourselves wholly to God, continually converse with him, make him part of everything we do, and act as though Jesus and you are the only two people in the world.

A PRAYER FOR YOU

Lord, I thank you for coming to live among us. You are the most amazing person in the universe and yet you are always available to us and never tire of listening to the small stuff that makes up our lives. Bless, I pray, this dear reader. Help them to open to you like a flower opening to the sun. Help them to hear you even when your voice is quiet and subtle. Help them to know it is you. Help them to obey, to go with what you are nudging them to go so they can say, afterwards, “That was him!” Help them to be drawn into your loving embrace and know how much you delight in them.

May this Christmas be a Christmas of epiphanies as they discover more fully who you are and who you made them to be. Open their eyes and hearts to your magnificence.

In Jesus name,

Amen.