Journey to Clarity
/By Elizabeth Stalcup, founder and executive director of Healing Center International
Our world is full of woes. In this month’s blog I have sensed God nudging me to share a bit of my journey towards a clearer view of racism in our land.
Decades ago I watched an interview with Billy Graham. Graham was asked, “What is the biggest problem in the world? His answer was “Racism.” At the time his answer startled me a bit. With all the problems in the world this was the biggest?
When I moved from California to Virginia in 1991, I noticed that Black people often seemed wary of me. It was something I pondered at first, but soon grew accustomed to. I worked on a project with a man from the countryside just west of my home. He told me about what he had endured as a young boy under integration. When I told him I thought racism was a thing of the past, he said simply, “If you had seen the looks on the faces of the white people and heard their words . . . the hatred they spewed on me, just a kid. You would not think it is over, it has simply gone underground.” But I did not believe him.
As a young child I had always been drawn to stories of injustice. Slavery. The Holocaust. As I grew older I read about the Armenian Genocide, Rwanda. I helped a Black man turn his 300-page manuscript into a book, From Private to General.
In 2015, shortly after it was published, I read Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson. Stevenson went to the deep south as a volunteer while a student at Harvard Law School. In the book, Stevenson shares many compelling stories but the one that has stuck with me through the years was the story of Walter McMillian who was convicted of a crime he did not commit and spent seven years on death row. To drastically shorten Walter’s story, he was accused of murdering a woman on the same morning he was hosting a fish fry at his country home. The judge and jury ignored the testimonies of his family and friends, including a police officer who stopped by to purchase fish that morning, and sentenced him to death. When Stevenson met Walter he was on death row, discouraged, depressed, yet still insisting that he was innocent. Stevenson says that when he read the record of Walter’s trial he was outraged, not just by the injustice done to Walter but by the way it had burdened the entire community. “Everyone in the poor, black community who talked to me about the case had expressed hopelessness.”[1] Stevenson began to investigate the case and learned that the sheriff had paid close to $5K to one witness to testify against Walter. Another witness later confessed to lying at the trial under intense pressure and threats from law enforcement. It took six years and many legal actions on the part of Stevenson to free Walter from death row. Walter got his freedom but never recovered from the trauma.
This book had a profound impact on me. In it I learned that studies show that when a black man and a white man are charged with similar crimes, the black man typically receive a harsher sentence. The worst bias is when the perpetrator is black and the victim white. I was deeply saddened by what had happened to Walter and so many others, and grateful for people like Bryan Stevenson who went on to found, The Equal Justice Initiative, and continues to fight injustice.
But I also thought, that was the deep south. That was long ago. Walter was freed in 1993, 27 years ago.
It was unimaginable to me that racism was a problem in my world because I did not see it.
Then came the 2009 presidential election. My dear husband had yard signs for Obama’s opponent and our black neighbors had signs for Obama. I do not have much tolerance for politics, and when the election was over I made a bold move and invited our neighbors Thomas and Denise over for lunch. I asked dear Sam to listen. When we were seated I asked our neighbors to share with us what having a Black president meant to them. It was a powerful conversation. We listened. They spoke. They shared their joy over Obama’s election. They shared their stories of what had happened to friends and neighbors, some of it painful as it included a lynching. As we listened, love filled our hearts. It was the beginning of a wonderful friendship. I was hopeful that the election of a Black president might mean the end of racism in America.
Still I saw evidence of racial separation, especially on Sunday mornings, evincing what Dr. Martin Luther King said so long ago, that "11 A.M. Sunday was our most segregated hour."
I asked my husband, Sam, who had been volunteering for HCI in our local jail and he confirmed that most, not all, but most of the inmates were people of color.
When George Floyd was murdered, I felt a deep need to connect with Thomas. That night I texted him, “I feel so sad that racism continues to be such a huge problem in our country. I am glad that Denise and you live in our neighborhood! I am so upset about what happened to George Floyd. And I know he is just one of many. Praying for us all. Betsy.”
He responded quickly, “Thank you Betsy. Racism is an inherent problem in this country and can only be resolved when people sit down, discuss, and learn about the good in each other. I grew up in a totally segregated society but I was never taught to hate my fellow man regardless of race, creed, or religion. Thank you again for your kind words and thoughts.”
Our brief text exchange only partially assuaged my longing to talk to Thomas. It was, curiously, still there. A few weeks later he came out his front door as I was walking by his house. We greeted each other and then I crossed the street. He was with his little granddaughter; his wife, adult daughter and another granddaughter soon came out and we all greeted each other.
The topic of racism came up again. Thomas shared that he worried about his grandson. I was stunned. Then he said something more, that every Black family in America felt concern for their male children. My head reeled at that thought that my neighbors who lived in a nice part of town were afraid that their children or grandchildren might be harmed, even killed, by the police. When I expressed my surprise, Thomas said that he too was careful if pulled over to keep his hands up and visible.
We were in Reston. It troubled me that people in my sophisticated part of the world lived with this burden, and I did not even know! His words, that all black people train their sons to be careful . . . so they can live, still sting.
I have come to the place of having to acknowledge that just because I don’t see racism in my everyday life, does not mean it is not there. I am owning that I have not taken the Black experience in my country seriously and I want to make amends.
Today I am writing to encourage our community to begin building bridges with our Black friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers. Here are some thoughts:
Start by listening. More than 90 of us have been learning how to listen well. I want to urge you to put these new skills to use. Invite people of color in your world to share their stories. Be willing hear what it is like for them to live in the U.S. without judgement or defense. Don’t interrupt. Let them speak. If your experience is like mine, it will open your heart and mind to the reality of racism in America.
Take each other seriously. Believe what you hear. This is the foundation of respect. It is all too easy to be dismissive, but we must take one another seriously. One of my favorite quotes is from C.S. Lewis where he writes about the importance to taking each other seriously because we are all created in the image of God. We must take “one another seriously—no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.”[2]
Pray. Ask God, what is my part? Ask God to show us the way forward. Ask God to raise up godly leaders who will initiate processes for restorative justice and healing. This problem is too big for any of us individually, but our God is a mighty redeemer and he has allowed this blight to surface. He intends to do something about it.
Recognize that there has been trauma on both sides and that we all need healing. This can only happen if we are willing to deal with our own trauma by turning to God and receiving his healing. As we heal, we are able to suffer well and help others recover.
Lastly, be an example. Love as Christ loves. Our world desperately needs Christ-like examples.
Let us be shining lights in a dark world.
[1] Byran Stevenson, Just Mercy, Random House, page 96.
[2] C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory.